6. nothing more. never less. – FAGE

In an attempt to prove how simply made and non-artificial FAGE’s yogurt is, they use their tagline as a way to reinforce the point. Nothing more. Their yogurt is not made up of any artificial flavorings or other preservatives. But read a different way this tagline makes FAGE seem weak, and nothing special at all. It’s “nothing more” than regular yogurt. That sucks. And that’s where the brilliance of this tagline comes in.

FAGE’s yogurt is nothing short of greatness, and “never less” than the best yogurt you’ve ever tasted. Now that’s a bold statement to make. But a bold statement needed to be made to counter that jab in your face that “nothing more” just made. So there you have it, “nothing more.” – than simple ingredients, “never less.” – than great tasting. Bravo, FAGE, bravo.

5. Every kiss begins with Kay. – Kay Jewelers

Well, duh. That’s usually how I spell “kiss,” K-I-S-S. Really though, the catchy jingle from the commercials is really what makes this tagline better. “hm hm hm, hm hm, hm hmmm.” But analyzing this statement as a standalone phrase has more impact subconsciously than it does grammatically. Many special occasions (especially in a relationship) are about kisses, just like many special gifts are about jewelry.

The first kiss, the make up kiss, the birthday kisses, and of course, the wedding kiss. These are moments that will always be remembered. Just like that diamond heart necklace you got her for her birthday, or those matching diamond earrings you got her for Christmas, and of course, that beautiful diamond ring you got (invested in) for the wedding! Kay Jewelers tagline can easily be changed to, “Every special moment begins with diamonds.” Luckily, they went with the more creative/romantic wording.

4. It’s everywhere you want to be. – Visa

This one is on the list for two specific reasons, it’s very literal, and it’s credit card slogan competitors suck (i.e. MasterCard: “Priceless.”). Visa choosing to go with “It’s everywhere you want to be” signifies that wherever you are, you have a credit card with you. Very literally, if we’re ever in a spot withOUT our credit card, isn’t that a very bad thing? Yes. I definitely want my credit card with me at all times. Also, by Visa’s use of “want” it makes you think of being anywhere around the world. Having dreams of visiting different countries and being on a forever vacation, all while remembering “wow, to have these adventures I’d need a lot of money. Thankfully I have my (Visa) credit card.” And there it is, you and your Visa credit card traveling around the world.

3. Where the (healthy) pets go. – petco

These next two taglines rely heavily on their attitude. I will never go to a Petco without having the response of, “oh yea, it’s where the pets go!” This goofy (remember the attitude) little phrase always makes people smile and chuckle just because it so perfectly rhymes. A pet store should always have a lively, family friendly, simple slogan that just exudes playfulness. Petco managed to incorporate all of those elements in this one simple phrase. It may be an over analyzation but that’s just because it’s almost not even a tagline, it just goes hand in hand with the store name. The other reason this works is because of Petco’s archnemesis PetSmart having the tagline “Where pets are family.” Come on PetSmart, no rhyming, really? PetSmart has one of the easiest rhyming schemes to choose from and they don’t take advantage of it. Like this, “PetSmart: Where the pets start.” Ta dah! But no, I know where the pets go… Yea, Petco.

2. The snack that smiles back. – Goldfish

Happy. Pure happiness. Again with the attitude in the tagline. Little kids just popping some Goldfish snacks in their mouth and just enjoying life. And remember trying to toss Goldfish into your friend’s mouth? Those were simpler, happy times. These things are just little flavored crackers with a smile on them. Ok, so you’re chewing a happy goldfish to death, but that’s beside the point. The brilliance in the tagline is that everyone knows your smiling when eating your Goldfish, and you know what, IT’S SMILING BACK! The tagline implies that you won’t be sad when eating this snack. It’s a positive (although not healthy) food to snack on. So that being said, it’s the snack that will smile back at you. Go Goldfish!… Side note, I really don’t like the taste of Goldfish, though.

1. Be together. Not the same. – Android

Mind = blown. I know tech people that went crazy when Android first started making commercials using this tagline. This is nothing short of perfection, and that says a lot because I’m a die hard Apple/iOS user. My biggest critique about the Android platform has been that they have WAY too many phone options that it gets so confusing so quickly. I still seriously think I can through any electrical or space-y words at a wall and whatever sticks would be the name of an Android device. On the other hand, with Apple you know your phone will always be an iPhone, it’s just a matter of what one, iPhone(SE)(6S)(6S Plus)(7)(7 Plus). But if you look in Android’s camp you can buy the: LG G5, HTC 10, HTC Bolt, LG V20, Pixel, phone by Google, Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge, Sony Xperia XZ, Moto X, Nexus 6P, or Nexus 5X. That was exhausting.

But then Android throws the final blow and knocks out all the haters with these two simple phrases, “Be together. Not the same.” OUCH. People may be die-hard Apple fans and never break away from i(Anything), but do you know why Android has so many freaking different phones? Because, unlike the iPhone, they are NOT THE SAME. All Android phones are, well, Android phones, however all their phones exist together and have the same operating system, but they also provide you with many different options to fit your individual style. This is one of the most clever taglines ever, because without being mean or blunt it is still a direct stab at their competitor. I never want to be at a campfire again after how bad that Android burn just was. Congratulations Android, our lives will never be the same… just, together.


… and then there are these.


3. Have it your way. – Burger King

Let’s face it, if you have a menu at all, it’s not “my way.” I don’t like tomatoes, so anything I order I have to say “without tomatoes.” If it was truly my way then it would be on the menu without tomatoes. This may seem like I’m taking the tagline too literal, but if they’re comfortable enough to brand their entire Company with this message, yes I shall take it seriously. There’s not even a “create your own,” option on the Burger King menu! That would be “my way!” So Burger King loses because it’s a fast-food restaurant just like any other fast-food restaurant. Hey McDonald’s, aren’t you lovin’ it?

2. JUST DO IT. – Nike

SORRY NIKE, BUT I HATE THIS. Especially after almost 30yrs, I know what I should just do. It. My real issue with this tagline is that I need to assume what it means. Just complete the task, just get through it, don’t quit, never give up, etc. But no, as a general tagline, it’s terrible. What if I wake up in the morning and I don’t feel like showering, “just do it.” It’s 72 degrees out and I want to wear shorts instead of pants, so I’ll “just do it.” I’m hungry for a pizza, but I know I should be eating healthy, well whatever
, I’ll “just do it” anyway. The list goes on and on. How about something creative like, “persevere to progress.” Wow, I literally just made that up as I was typing and I already like it better. In the end, I wasn’t sure if I should put this on the list or not, so I just did it.

1. The Diamond Store. – Zales

Hey Zales, you’re basic. I’m pretty sure there are also other diamond stores. “McDonalds: The Fast-food Restaurant.” Oh wait, Burger King and Taco Bell exist, too. And think about it in conversation, “hey do you want to go to the diamond store?” “Sure, which one?” In comparison to wanting to go where the pets go… petco. I understand Zales’ attempt at making a strong statement by portraying IT as the “go to” store for all things diamond, but in reality they aren’t. Many of the top diamond/jewelry stores are on an equal playing field and no one store stands above all. So I’m sorry Zales, but you’re A diamond store, but not THE diamond store.[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]